Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
