Welp...herpes.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
