I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
