doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
