It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
