I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
