I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
