What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
