it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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