I wish I could punch you in the face.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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