Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Nicole vs. Life
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize