I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
