Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
