Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
