She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
