moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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