i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
