he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can't put those talents on a resume
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
