My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
