i barfeds in our rink
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
