Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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