Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
