dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
