this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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