I can't breathe out the right side of my face
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
