She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
