I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
