I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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