i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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