Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
