what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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