I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
