She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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