Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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