Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
