My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
