he puts the penis in happiness.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
