I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
