Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
