Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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