thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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