too bad you live with your parents still
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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