Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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