when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
