you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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