I wannas sexs uuuuu
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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