But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
