Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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