trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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