Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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