Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
