ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
