I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
