Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
