Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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