You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
