i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
