If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize