took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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