all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
