hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
