i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
