I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
