I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
