why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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