Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
