Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize