I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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