matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
