I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's always time for handjobs
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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