can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize